Running with Perseverance

The Mall

On Friday, I had a profound realization.  After visiting the Catholic store in Denver, we had another hour or so before we had to pick Felicity up from zoo camp.  We were in a major shopping area of Denver at the time, so we thought we'd just walk around the mall a bit to kill time.
I hated it.
The day was not so long ago that I would have gone through there (or any other mall), thought nothing of it, noticed a few cute things in the store front windows, and left thinking about something or other that I should purchase.  However, at this point in my life I found the whole thing stifling.  I was offended at many images that I was presented with and feared that my innocent yet observant almost-four-year-old might be scandalized as well. 
At 8 months pregnant with 2 small children in tow, I was the recipient of curious, glaring, and shocked looks from other moms hanging around the indoor playground in their designer clothes and tossing back their designer coffees.  I hurt for them in a way - that they didn't know the joy of multiple children, that they probably didn't know freedom from chemical abuse of their fertility and relationships, that money and stuff may define their lives.
I walked through the building praying for my poor husband, who was surely bombarded by images of scantily clad women in print and in real life.  Thank goodness he is a good, faithful man with true "custody of the eyes."  How hard it must be to be a man in this culture!  There was one woman walking in front of us for a while that was drop-dead gorgeous, but had abandoned personal dignity and mystery in favor of a very short, cleavage bearing "dress."  I don't fault women like her.  In fact, I know from personal experience that it is often a lack of understanding of one's personal dignity and responsibility to others to dress that way.  As innocent bystanders, though, I was once again praying that my impressionable young daughter wouldn't notice the display.
The consumerism closed in on us, choking us until we were able to locate the west wing parking garage and get the heck out of there.  I don't want to want stuff.  I reject the idea that we are defined by our possessions.  I am not impressed with things.  Yes, I search out the best quality I can afford at the lowest prices that I can find.  But, this does not include indulging in a luxurious lifestyle that I can't actually pay for (in fact, we do not have even one credit card - we live frugally on the cash that we have, provided by our Lord, 100% through generous donors who believe in the mission of FOCUS).  Yes, we have some nice things, but all of them have been acquired at a serious fraction of the price and are things that we actually use, often even for the sake of the apostolate (for example, my wonderful Mac that I am currently writing on).
It makes me sad how consumerism, instant gratification, and empty pleasure are taking over our culture.  And I'm glad to be back in my bubble and out of that mall.

A Simple Woman's Daybook November 6

Please visit The Simple Woman for more Daybook entries!  FOR TODAY Thursday, November 6...

Outside My Window...the wind is intense!  I feel like it's ushering in the Winter.  The weather has been so beautiful this Fall, but now stepping outside it is bitter cold. 

I am thinking...about the weekend.  This is the first weekend in a month that Charlie or I will not be out of town.  I am looking forward to some family time and time with Charlie. 

I am thankful for...my sweet children.  Felicity and Gabrielle have been so sweet lately, they spend the whole day just playing together, reading books together, imagining together.  Pretty soon Colette will join in the fun I'm sure.  She's still a bit of an independent player.

From the kitchen...Charlie has asked me to go back to the intense meal planning I used to do.  Recently, I have been in daily survival mode and I need to go back to planning and purchasing ahead.  One thing I've been doing well though is stocking my freezer.  You should see my collection of once fresh now frozen berries!  The grocery store had fresh raspberries 10/$10 last week and I stocked up in a major way.  Those little containers are usually $4.99 each!  I also have a bunch of blueberries, blackberries, and strawberries.  It's great to know they're in there for baking, pancakes, toppings for yogurt (my favorite!), and smoothies.

I am wearing...a new pair of jeans, a 3/4 sleeve pink top from Shade, and my Chaco sandals.  When I go out later, I'm going to have to add a warm sweater and shoes.  I am thankful for a warm home today!

I am creating...Christmas lists.  I have already done a lot of my shopping and I am trying to figure out what to get who.  The only people I am completely finished shopping for are my parents!  haha :-)

I am going...to have a babysitter this afternoon, but have no plans on what I'm going to do!  Maybe go for coffee and read, maybe spend some good quality time in prayer in the chapel downstairs, maybe go Christmas shopping...we shall see!

I am reading... St. Gianna Molla: Wife, Mother, Doctor by Pietro Molla and Elio Guerriero  I have been loving this book and I started reading it while on the way to the Kimberly Hahn conference.  It was the perfect companion since the topic of the retreat was motherhood and St. Gianna is such a role model to mothers.  I'm almost finished, and hoping to get it completed by this weekend. 

I am hoping...that the election of our new president will not result in the chaos that I am afraid of. 

I am hearing...the Baroque classical channel on iTunes and Felicity and Gabrielle playing with Wedgits.

Around the house...I need to put away the Summer clothes and make room for the coats and accessories.  I need to clean my (very small) closet so that I have more room to store suitcases and Christmas gifts.  There is the usual to do as well: laundry, vacuuming, polishing, etc.  I need to clean the fridge and purge the toys too! 

One of my favorite things...when Charlie comes home.  All is well in my world then.

A Few Plans For The Rest Of The Week: Next week is Gabrielle's birthday (on Tuesday!  She'll be 3!!!  I can't believe it...I feel like I just got her!), so I need to plan for that.  I think we'll do something low key as a family.  We like to alternate years for parties, I don't want to do a party every year for each child, plus I don't want them to have that expectation.  I already got her a gift, but I'd love to think of something fun to do as a family as well.  This weekend we have dinner with friends on Saturday night after Charlie spends the morning pheasant hunting.  Monday, Felicity has an Oceanography class in Fort Collins, which will be fun!  I always love a good trip to FC.

Here is picture thought I am sharing...  Here are my darling daughters (well, 2 of them!) dressed for Halloween.  They went as St. Therese the Little Flower and St. Agnes.  Charlie did such a great job getting them dressed up in my absence! 

I love my Archbishop!!!

Six Points of Randomness

 I have many random things on my mind, so I'll just share the randomness.

1. Scripture

I grew up in the Bible Belt (my specific location was North Texas) and most everyone around me in school who were Christian were Protestant.  We have to admit that our Protestant brothers and sisters really strive to know their Bible!  Catholics of course love the Bible as well, seeing as the Catholic Church put the Bible together in it's current form, we read it every day in Mass and prayer, and so forth.  Somehow, I have totally missed the boat in the last 25 years and have not made deeper Scripture study a priority.  I am excited to share that I have memorized my first Bible verse (sad huh, but happy nonetheless).  Romans 12:2 is about Obedience to Christ, "Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewal of your mind, so that you may prove the will of God, what is good, and acceptable, and perfect."  Among Charlie's books here, I found one called The Catholic Topical Memory System by Rich Cleveland that teaches a method for memorizing scripture so that it is easy to recall in conversation and evangelization.  Now that I have that one down, I am ready to learn another...maybe by next week I can share.  

2. Overheard

The overwhelmingly beautiful and amazing Sisters of Life were visiting summer training here in NC for a few days.  My girls loved them (they loved the Nashville Dominicans also)!  Apparently, it was overheard that one of the Sisters, who has made vows of poverty, chastity, and obedience, who spends her life in total service to God, who goes out into the streets of New York City battling the evils of abortion and other such issues with charity and genuine care, said to a FOCUS missionary, "You are living such a radical life!"

Missionary life is radical.  It was just funny hearing it said by a woman living an equally or more radical life!

3. Death

The other day I was laying in bed playing with all my girls after nap time.  Those sorts of moments are like a little glimpse of Heaven!  Felicity and I were talking about how old she is, how old Gabrielle is, etc.  So I asked them how old they thought I am.  Gab had no idea, but Felicity guessed 16.  I enjoyed that answer, because I sometimes feel like I am still 16!  Anyway, I told her no, that I am 25.  She looked at me and said, "How old will you be when you're done?" haha

4. We Are One Body/Desolation and Consolation

One of my favorite bloggers out there is Red at And Sometimes Tea.  Last week she wrote a post that haunted me for days.  I am an incessant worrier, I have a huge tendency toward desolation, and I have such an active imagination that I have resigned myself to completely removing thoughts and asking the intercession of St. Michael the Archangel.  Here is the specific blog post: Reaping the Whirlwind.  In short, she describes our society of the future in "post-gay marriage America."  The whole thing really disturbed me, and what disturbed me the most was that it is not a far reach from what could be our reality in the future.  This reminded me of Father Benedict Groeschel's talk at FOCUS's National Leadership Conference in January when he noted that our society can not continue on it's current path.  There will inevitably be either a revival of faithfulness to God or there will be a persecution.  I started to fear a possible persecution.  Do I have that much faith?  Could I stand for God and His Church in the face of the danger of death?  More disturbingly, what about my children?  The fact of the matter is that our sins hurt others, no matter if others know about them or not.  People who say,"If I'm not hurting anybody, it's ok!"  I am a sinner, I have seen how my sins have hurt others.  The sins being committed by our beloved brothers and sisters who are pushing the gay agenda ARE hurting people, no matter what they say.  They will hurt my children and my grandchildren, my family, and society at large.

I was getting so down, so afraid, and I brought it to prayer.  God spoke to me through Sunday's Gospel reading.

Jesus said to the Twelve: "Fear no one.  Nothing is concealed that will not be revealed, nor secret that will not be known.  What I say to you in the darkness, speak in the light; what you hear whispered, proclaim on the housetops.  And do not be afraid of those who kill the body but can not kill the soul; rather, be afraid of the one who can destroy both soul and body in Gehenna...."  Matthew 12:26

Jesus says to us, "Fear no one."  My Lord, in His great love, answered me! (Psalm 69)

5. On a Lighter Note

We went to Myrtle Beach, SC about a week and a half ago.  It was such fun, that we are going back to the beach this weekend!  We're going to Charleston this time.  Here we are at the beach on our last trip:

6. Random Fact

On Monday, we had the exciting privilege of having a well known Catholic author, Peter Kreeft, come to teach us for about 5 hours on apologetics and philosophy.  He was an exciting man; I didn't know what to expect, but he was so funny, easy to understand, and immensely interesting.  I wish I had gone to a good Catholic college and learned philosophy.  I think I would have loved it, and now in my state of life, I don't exactly have a lot of time to sit around and ponder and read.  Instead, I got a ridiculous "Western Philosophy" course at the University of Texas that made no sense to me (or anyone else for that matter, I refuse to believe that those kids in the front trying to be "deep" had any idea of what was going on either!).  He had many great stories to tell, shared about his personal conversion to Catholicism, and offered some brilliant arguments for the most common issues that come up with college students.  Anyway, the random fact that he shared was something that just floored me.  My jaw literally dropped.  Random fact: RU 486 aka "the abortion pill" was invented by a company called Rousell-Uclaf.  Rousell-Uclaf's parent company is called Hoechst AG.  Hoechst AG was known as IG Farben during the time of World War II.  IG Farben was the company that created Zyklon B - the poison that killed so many in gas chambers during the Third Reich.  Sick, isn't it?  Completely horrifying.  (Click here for more complete information.)

Well, this has been a long post, but these are some of the things that have been floating around in my mind.  It's time for me to strap on my running shoes and keep plugging away at the Couch to 5K plan!  So far, so good!